What’s New & What’s different.

Have you been wondering why I haven’t shared a blog post this year? 

Yeah, me too. I’ve been wondering the same.

If you’re assuming that I was “taking my time,” sorry to disappoint you. I wasn’t. There are many things that can disguise themselves as ‘taking my time’—like procrastination, anxiety, low self-esteem, and imposter syndrome. But that’s not what we’re talking about today.

Since this is the first official blog post for the year, I’ll have to ask: how are your New Year’s resolutions coming along?

As for me, I restrained myself from setting yearly goals and instead resorted to quarterly goals. It is easier to manage and a lot less overwhelming.

With that said, let’s get into this article.

Making Plans.

Over the years, I’ve read a lot about planning and practiced it. No matter how good planning can get, it’s not always an easy thing to do. Sometimes there’s always the feeling of doubt hanging somewhere.

Photo by Anete Lusina

Don’t you wish someone had lived your life and then came back to hand you a fail-proof plan? Yeah, me too.

I learned that the Igbo tradition believes in reincarnation. If I have the same birthmark as my paternal grandmother, whom I never met, I wonder what she did when she was my age. Only, she existed in an entirely different time, and it is very unlikely that we have the same problems. I digress.

Decisions.

Well, I’ve been trying to figure some things out. 

We’re always making decisions, but there are points where we make pivotal decisions. Like when you have to choose a potential career path but have what appears to be a lot of options.

At some point, one has to decide between what they can do and what they will do. I’m at that point. There are a lot of things that I can do and I will not do all of them, at least not at once.

It’s good to think that you can do everything: work a 9-5 job, run businesses, get into tech, start a beauty line, turn your crochet skills into a business, be a milliner, a makeup artist, and a social media content creator all at once.

Okay, you can do everything, but do you have to?

Especially if you are just starting out in your career, trying to do so many things can hamper your productivity.

I’m learning to say ‘No’ to the voice in my head that keeps telling me I should be doing something else while I’m working on another thing. I’m making the shift from ‘I can and I will’ to ‘I can but I won’t’ when necessary.

Photo by Karolina Kaboompics

Living for others, neglecting self.

I realized that a bulk of my decision-making process is tied to the approval of people.

Constantly thinking to myself: What will people think? How will they see me? What ideas do they have of me? Will this change how they see me? Am I meeting their expectations?”

Oftentimes, I am crippled by my fear of disappointing people. I give too much importance to others’ perceptions. I find myself valuing validation above everything else and becoming a slave to their expectations, albeit imaginary.

Now, that’s a poetic way to call myself a ‘people pleaser’. 

I’ve realized that the more I try to please people, the less pleased I am with myself.

It takes a lot to set yourself free from the shackles of people-pleasing. Self-awareness makes you realize what you’re doing to yourself, and when you realize it, you have to make a conscious effort to do better.

Affirmations.

Meanwhile, in my effort to make positive changes and to be better, I’ve come across a lot of tips, especially on the internet. One of these tips is affirmations.

Sometimes, I find affirmations hilarious. When I try to recite them in front of the mirror, all I see is a clown staring back at me. I struggle to keep a straight face.

[maybe this resembles self-sabotaging]

I know affirmations can be empowering and can promote positive thinking, but I can’t help feeling that there is an underlying sense of delusion. 

If affirmations work for you, please keep at it, by all means.

Crawling Out of a Writing Slump

If you’ve ever experienced a time when you couldn’t find joy in things that used to make you happy, then you’ll understand this better.

It feels like there’s a disconnect. I know this happens to the best of us, but I’m speaking from a writer’s perspective (feel free to share your own perspective). From my experience, this phase can come with fear and doubt—fear about how long it will take before you’re able to create again and that foolish doubt in your own ability.

Yes I describe it as foolish. Can you imagine seeing your previous works/articles and wondering who wrote them?… Crazy.

Experiencing a phase like this can make something you enjoy doing feel like a chore. And if you’re someone who has had many skills, talents, or activities that you’ve abandoned, you begin to fear that this might be one of those abandoned passions.

Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

However, I recommend being patient with yourself. There’s a possibility that you’re experiencing burnout. It may take longer or shorter than expected, but you’ll be fine.

One thing I did was revisit my ‘why.’ Revisiting the reason I started this blog. Also, understanding my goals gave me a level of clarity.

What’s New and What’s Different

What’s new is that I published a poetry collection (get it here), and I’m trying to find my footing.

What’s different is that I plan on trying my best not to abandon this blog again while I’m figuring everything else out. I plan on blogging consistently (weekly or twice a month). So, please subscribe so you don’t miss the blog posts.

Here’s to a restart, making peace with myself and staying committed.

How are you navigating your resolutions and decisions?

How is life in general?

Let’s have a discussion in the comments.